Batman: The Dark Knight #23 // Alex Maleev
Come to library to do uni homework.
Have headphones in, glasses on, and am absorbed in my laptop, typing away.
And then some lady starts talking to me for 20 minutes about how an old man can’t see his computer screen because it’s blue..
Thank you lady, for your wonderful story.
No, I totally was not focussed on my work and no you did not break my concentration.
Of course that’s exactly why I came to the library today.
I came here to talk to random people about random things because that’s what libraries are for.
-_________-
Batman #23 // Greg Capullo
Aha! A champion!!
Think of them more as experience points than spendable points.
When you reach 50, you’ll level up! :P
[video]
Last night i did my weekly fitness session… And we were sprinting, and squatting, and running, and lunging and now my legs won’t move from this position.
Send help. And burritos.
Anonymous asked: just curious but how did you meet your bf? did he gf zone you?
Oh gosh this is a long and complicated and disasterous story but I’ll try to simplify it.
My boyfriend was my ex-boyfriends best friend.
I KNOW it sounds horrible and it was hard to get used to but things just… happen some times.
My current boyfriend and I had obviously been friends for years. The relationship with my ex ended mutually based on the fact that we had been together for 5+ years (since high school) and we needed some space from each other to learn and grow. It wasn’t that we stopped loving each other, it was just that we didn’t know who we were without each other.
It was after my ex and I had broken up that my current boyfriend started to come round and hang out as friends and things just slowly developed into something more. He had had a crush on me for a long time, and I had felt the chemistry with him as well, but it was more of a development from being friends into something more.
I don’t think he girlfriend zoned me because our relationship was pretty open for some time, he was able to see other girls, I was able to see whoever I wanted, and there was no sense of commitment or entitlement for a long time. He didn’t expect sex from our friendship, though he wouldn’t have said no if I had offered, and he didn’t come around purely to pursue me as a prospective partner because I was technically supposed to be off-limits as a friends ex. So his friendship was really just friendship until together we took a step forward.
Then we had a big fight (one of many in our tumultuous relationship) and eventually said “I don’t want you to see anyone else but me” to each other.
There is a lot more complicated goings on behind that story but I think for simplification that this will suffice for your answer.
Thank you for the question :)
Anonymous asked: I always make my intentions known upfront when I am looking for a girlfriend, the first couple times we go to dinner or whatnot I will say what I'm looking for and make it known very well, sometimes they just want to be friends but think I should still take them to dinner and hangout with them constantly or text constantly. A lot of girls don't understand men take you out to dinner and to parks, text a lot and hangout a lot because they want more. You do different things with just friends
Well then I think that you’re doing the right thing, but you may have some girls who are bad friends to you.
If you’ve made your intentions clear from the start but they want to continue to string you along and do girlfriend-type-stuff with you, like letting you pay for dinner, going alone to the movies, sharing deserts, doing date-type-stuff, then they’re be bad friends to you.
But in the same token if you’ve made your intentions clear, they’ve turned you down, and you still want to make an effort to be friends and they’re texting and hanging out with you all the time they may be just doing stuff that they think friends do and not realising.
Chicks like to talk and text and hang out and stuff with people they consider friends (of any gender) and if you think that’s too much for a normal friendship then you can casually back it off. Just don’t reply as much, or don’t be as available so that you’re still friends… but you’re not feeling smothered by what they consider friendship and what you consider something more.
It’s hard. Everyone has a different idea of what means friendship and what means something more, and I think that dynamic between two people is something that’s just got to be worked out between the both of you. It took me a long.. long time to get that dynamic right with some of my closest friends and I’d like to say that it’s a bit tricky but pays off when you’re both comfortable with each other and boundaries are set.
I think every situation is different though, so I’ve pretty much used up my knowledge/opinion in that area!
I hope you are happy with however your situation/s pan out :)
porrauniverso asked: The recent stuff, the "girlfriendzone" of whatever the internets wants to call it, caught my attention, so i'd like to say something about it; I think its very legitimate for a girl not to like the situation where a guy simply removes his friendship out of the blue, but it's also okay if a guy wants to save himself the emocional stress of being stuck in the friendzone. I'm aware that I'm an asshole, but that's my exact MO; you dont want my love, then you cant have my friendship (anymore).
Of course you’re completely permitted to remove yourself from a situation that it’s emotionally stressful and painful!
I know from experience that I personally really, really, really can’t deal with it when someone rejects me. It’s only happened once and it was a tangled relationship of being friends, then friends with benefits, something more, promises that weren’t kept, and then trying to be friends after all that emotional rollercoaster is excrutiatingly painful!
However I also think that every situation is different.
Obviously if you’ve been continuously screwed over by someone, or used, or lead on by the same person, then by all means cut yourself off because they have been a bad friend to you.
BUT if you cut someone off who’s only ever been a good friend to you, no strings, no ifs, no buts, then that makes you a pretty bad friend in the first place. As long as someone isn’t directly hurtful or plain mean to you when they turn you down, it’s really not their fault that they can’t love you back, and by taking your friendship away from them you’re essentially punishing them for something they’ve got no control over. And if you were really a good friend in the first place, you wouldn’t want to hurt them by doing that.
I dunno! At the end of the day you gotta do what’s right for you but you gotta maintain perspective about other peoples feelings too. My rule of thumb is do what’s right by everyone, but if someone continuously wrongs me and makes me feel bad on purpose then I feel entitled to swiftly kick them out of my life.
Anonymous asked: Different Anon, but I don't see why it's so complicated for a lot of guys. Sure I have been "friendzoned" to where they don't want anything more than a friendship, whether it be my looks or any number of things. If a guy is interested in a girl, and she doesn't want to date you, why is it so hard for guys to just stop talking to that person and move on? You want more, she doesn't, end it.
I see where you’re coming from, but it’s also a little difficult to simplify it that much.
If it was a one time thing, yes, I can see an easy severage from the friendship, especially if the two people we’re talking about are not very close.
But once you become friends, even best friends, with someone it is so much harder to make that clean break away and move on. For both of you.
While rejection sucks (ohhh how rejection sucks) it’s also hard for the person doing the rejecting. No matter how cliche it is he/she probably really does love you… as a friend. And there’s all kind of attachments and tentacles of emotion between two people in that situation, especially if it’s a long friendship. It’ll hurt the rejector just as much as the rejected, because in this situation everyone loses something.
A lot of people attempt to move past it and remain friends because of this attachment but it takes time and strong commitment to make something like that work, and it’s only successful if one of you puts their feelings aside.
I watched this ModPrimate Youtube video a few months ago that explains it really well as to how such situations can be completely, successfully, navigated where everyone can remains friends.
(also, Buffy the Vampire Slayer examples. Score!).
It’s called “The Friend Zone and “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”” for those who can’t follow the link.
I hope that helped? Let me know what you think! :)
Anonymous asked: I like that you're a strong, opinionated person. Where do you get it from?
I guess I was just forced into a lot of situations where I had to stand up for myself (and/or others) that made me strong.
My best friend in primary school was different to all the other boys and girls, she had had some trouble developing and had to have a lot of operations when she was little so she could see and hear. She was bullied a lot, because of the way she looked, and me and another girl just… kind of got used to standing up for her. We don’t talk much now, but I know she’s working in aged care and they absolutely love her.
I also had my own string of bullying in high school, some of which was from a best friend. When I was 14-15 she just completely stopped talking to me/ignored me/or made rude comments when I was there. For about a year I was miserable, I couldn’t see my friends because of her, I didn’t feel included and I was extremely lonely. And then I realised that she wasn’t actually doing anything to me. Eventually after months of accepting myself for who I was and liking that person I came to the conclusion that if she suddenly didn’t like me I wasn’t going to try and make her. I wouldn’t let her stop me seeing people, I would make a better effort with our mutual friends, and I started shrugging it off and didn’t let it effect me. Because of this she avoided me (and our mutual friends because they were talking to me. You know how that high-school bullcrap goes) and she alienated herself instead.
I still don’t know why she did it but we keep in touch now.
As for opinionated, I think that all comes with confidence and conviction in what your saying, and for that you need to be knowledgable. I don’t open my mouth about things I don’t know unless it’s to ask a question. I often listen to different sides of stories and then come up with what I think is the best explanation/strategy from the combination of the two. When I know I’m right, I won’t let someone tell me I’m wrong… because I know, 100%, whole heartedly, that I’m right because I’ve done my research and know what I’m talking about. So why should I let someone tell me I’m wrong when I know that I’m not?
Participating in an Art Theory degree has also enhanced this part of me. We spend hours writing essays debating topics, or writing arguments, and in order to write a successful argument you need to have an opinion on it (rather than just be like ‘he said she said that cats are allergic to sunshine and I believe them’). Rants are often encouraged in our weekly classes.
I dunno, my dad always did tell me that you could never make me do something I didn’t want to do :P
I like that you like this about me, thank you for the question :)
The glory of Ebay is found in ridiculous cat shirts.
You know how it is, right, ladies? You know a guy for a while. You hang out with him. You do fun things with him—play video games, watch movies, go hiking, go to concerts. You invite him to your parties. You listen to his problems. You do all this because you think he wants to be your friend.
But then, then comes the fateful moment where you find out that all this time, he’s only seen you as a potential girlfriend. And then if you turn him down, he may never speak to you again. This has happened to me time after time: I hit it off with a guy, and, for all that I’ve been burned in the past, I start to think that this one might actually care about me as a person. And then he asks me on a date.
I tell him how much I enjoy his company, how much I value his friendship. I tell him that I really want to be his friend and to continue hanging out with him and talking about our favorite books or exploring new restaurants or making fun of avant-garde theatre productions. But he rejects me. He doesn’t answer my calls or e-mails; if we’d been making plans to do something before this fateful incident, these plans mysteriously fail to materialize. (This is why I never did get around to seeing the Hunger Games movie. Not to name any names, but thanks a lot, Tom.) Later, when I run into him at social events, our conversations are awkward and lukewarm. This is because the moment we met, he put me in the girlfriend-zone, and now he can’t see me as friend material.
I must say that I find this really unfair. I mean, I’m a nice girl. I have a lot to offer as a friend, like not being a douchebag and stuff. But males just don’t want to be friends with nice girls like me. They can’t help it, I guess; it’s just how they’re wired, biologically. Evolution conditioned our male hominid ancestors to seek nice girls as mates and form friendship bonds only with the other dudes that they hunted mammoths with. It’s true—I know this because I studied hominids in my fifth-grade science class.
So what’s the answer? Should I take up mammoth-hunting in an attempt to appeal to the friendship centers of men’s primal lizardbrains? Should I keep making guy “friends” and then prevent them from making a move on me by subtly undermining their self-confidence? Should I just give up on those manipulative, game-playing, two-faced bastards once and for all? I don’t know. I mean, I’d really like to have a true friendship with a guy someday, but it’s so hard to trust and respect them when they never say what they mean—and you never know when you might be relegated to the girlfriend-zone.
This.
This. This. This.
I have been thinking something along these lines for a long time and i didn’t know exactly how tp word it but this is just perfect.
Thank you.
Rebloggable, as requested :)
Ooh!
Ahh, yes, of course, if you like :)